Self Care

Self care is fucking hard. There, I said it.

You’ve got to put in the work. There is nobody that is to blame if this doesn’t work. It is your full responsibility. So you’ve got to eat well, exercise, manage your expectations, meditate, banish negativity and struggle to motivate yourself to do each of these things.

The easy road is to eat the junk food and sit and wallow in your depression and feel the anxiety well. It isn’t nice. But it is fucking easy. It is the current default mode.

I try to break it, every day I push myself to make sure I’ve checked at least one thing off that list. Currently I am managing most of them each day but after some recent relationship troubles where I wasn’t managing my expectations because by-fuck! I’d fallen in love, I am negative. There is a huge weight on my shoulders and a voice in my head telling me that I am broken. Worthlessness has engulfed me.

I’m drawing, I’m writing, my work is good, my diet is great, I’m meditating, I’m exercising and doing these things is my sole driver. They get me out of bed. But it isn’t enough to rid me of that pain and I am sure that time will make it better. I just can’t see the point of waiting it out at the moment.