Back to Broken

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I’m dead certain that there is not a lot right in the world. In all fairness there is not enough good to go around. Can you tell today is a low one?

Can you tell that I am struggling today?

The feeling that is on my chest has been there many times before. The physical nature always catches me by surprise. How can emotions make you feel heavier? I’m clumsy today, spilling my drink and tripping on my trousers.

The why is not important at all. My deep breathing helping lift me only slightly. My focused features unable to smile. Today it feels like it has never been raised at the corners.

Anger has caught me and for the first time in a long time it has beaten me. So distant are the memories of the red mist and huge release. I trained myself out of that default. Now it is a dark volume and thick. It clogs my veins. My teeth are clenched together but they aren’t holding back words.

I did the right thing when stood up for my needs but I broke my own heart in the process. This kind of repair cannot be done with my hands.

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